R. Kelly v. Nickelodeon

Is the whole R. Kelly looking at underage kids joke old? Yes. Could I think of another person to look at kiddie porn? No.

Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I stand before you today not to preach to you that looking at kiddie porn is tolerable. I am here to tell you that perhaps this wasn't his fault that he was so attracted to the younger demographic. You, yourself may have this hidden enema inside you, but R. Kelly just couldn't control it anymore after watching Thanksgiving marathons of nonstop Nicktoons.

Judge, I would like to call upon this wallaby to take the stand.

 

Jury, would please take a look at this wild untamed and dastardly animal from the Austrailian Outback. You know what else says they are from Austrailia? This place. Bafoolery I say! 

Now to my point in case. Let's take a look at this character. Does anybody else see the fact that between his shirt and shoes, there is nothing in between? That's right, Rocko, a kids television character, always has his pants on the ground. Lookin like a fool, Rocko just smiles at everybody. I would be smiling too if I never had to wear pants. 

Let's not let his sidekick, Heffer, off the hook though. Most of the time he's just wearing pants with suspenders to cover his nipples, but he too, has shown more skin than some people can handle.

Just look!

 

What is that supposed to teach us? That beastiality is perfectly acceptable?

Rocko and Heffer, you may now leave the stand, I have no further questions.

I now call to the stand, Klasky and Csupo. Jury, you may know them better as the perverts behind the toddler show called Rugrats.

This show seemed wholesome at first, four babies playing around and having a good time. Then things went too far. Almost every other episode Angelica was bending over and showing us her underwear. Too far yet jury? It gets worse. They named the person who knew the most about babies Dr. Lipschitz. Separate his name by the syllables and that you might as well call him Dr. Mouthpoop.

Is feces in the mouth too disgusting for you jury? No? 

Then I present to you the case of Rugrats episode number 54, "Naked Tommy"

Now we have naked babies. Great. Not only does Tommy go buck, but so does Chuckie "The Ginger" Finster.
Jury, I know you're speechless. Go home and think about this tonight. Clicking on some ads on this page does help your thought process. The court will reconvene when we figure out why Boppo was always saying, "Hi, I'm Boppo."